Topics about career, calling, and vocation already caught my attention in the past few years. I am seriously wondering, what is my purpose? Why am I here? Why God allows me to born prematurely? And when the doctor said I would not survive, I survive! I guess life purpose and vocation are the main questions for every people in all ages. It doesn’t sound right if we just born, live our life, and die. There is no such fun in that kind of life. Well, some people will get married, raise their kids, getting old, maybe have a little adventure, and that’s it. Seriously, is that it? Vocation is higher than a career. We could be retire from a career but never from a vocation. That’s why I do really want to know my vocation and live it.
To answer my curiosity, I started to read some books, such as Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, Courage and Calling by Gordon T. Smith (this one very helpful), Raising To The Call by Os Guiness, and many more. I realize that to know my vocation, I have to grow in an intimate relation with The Creator of my life (and yours), because HE is The One who created me, so defenetely He is the one who have the answer. Beside that, one of the important steps to know my vocation is to know who I am.
There are many questions that I found helping me in discovering my vocation, such as: What makes me unique and different from others? What is my strength and weakness? What is my talent and passion? My personality? In what kind of area I deeply feel the pain of the world? Poverty? Education? Health?
Up to this day, I couldn’t answer all the questions yet, but I can say that I made a progress. I am really interesting in knowing my personality, so I took some tests. Thankfully, I involve in a ministry that help me to know myself better. I found out that I am a choleric-melancholy person, and based on MBTI test, I am a Logistician (ISTJ). I started to explore my past life on how my parents, especially my mom, raised me. I grew up become a person who love books, love the knowledge, and I love study (weird, isn’t?). I guess one particular career that cross my mind is lecturer, because I like to explain things. I just feel excited when I could learn something new and share it. In addition, I also love to work on data. I could do same works over and over again, and I love my life in orders. Some of my friends think that live in that kind of routine is boring, but it comforts me. And because I am an introvert-melancholy person, I like to be alone sometimes. Not to live away from the world and community, just to gain energy in my me-time. I accept me, and all the perks of being an introvert-sensate-thinker-and judger person. And I guess this is totally an important achievement in searching of my vocation.
One day, I joined a work interview and the interviewer (who is a psychologist) asked me: which one I prefer, work with data or people. Of course my answer is: data. This job I apply for, requires me to work in a field, not in an office. But I convince them that in my previous job, I learn to work with people. I learn how to lead students, work with older and younger people, learn to hear other opinions, accept their critics, and trying to understand people with different personality than me. I totally aware of my interest, so I answered their question honestly, not play pretend that I like to work with people cause I don’t. But the other interviewer looked on me with doubt. Well, fortunately I passed the test and got the job.
My point is, people sometimes generalize us and dictate us to have all the abilities that this world need. They want us to know all. I guess, it was effected by our education system. In school, we are teached to be excellent in all subjects (in fact, not all students good in sports, science, or history), but we are never teached to develop our ability, or even to know our passion and interest. People forget that all of us are different. We have different personality, passion, and even vocation.
Remembering my answer in my interview test makes me proud of myself, in a good way. I am proud of being someone who know who I am. I don’t want to live a life like everybody else. I don’t want live with the flow. I realize, we are not created to be the same. All of us are special and we have a different path that we have to explore. In fact, our differences complete each other. Born from parents who work as teacher doesn’t mean you are created to be a teacher too, or a doctor because all of your family work as doctor, and so on.
To help me to stay on my track, these are some questions I ask myself (from Courage and Calling from Gordon T. Smith):
Am I being honest to myself?
Am I living in my own belief and stand for it? Or Am I just doing what everybody else do?
Do I live the life I am intended to be, or do I live in pretend, in other people’s dream, or my parent’s dream?
Do I live only to impress people?
Do I work 6 days a week without passion and focus? Only for getting paid and exhausted?
Well, I am waiting forward to the day I finally live my vocation. But now on, I am really happy to know myself better. I am already making my life plan and yes I know I have a dream, but I am still open for every possibilities in the future. At least today I am making progress, and I hope you do to. Start to know yourself and your dream. The most important thing is: Do not live your life in other’s dream and opinion. Stand for yourself! Being you is special. If you are not living your life, then who will?
